Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Ritual Chamber - Obscurations (To Feast on the Seraphim) (2016)

More lame tremolo picked bullshit that unimaginative dweebs have already compared to 'Onward to Golgotha'. Please, dweebs, please STOP with that bullshit!

First off, Incantation (or more accurately, John motherfuckin' Mac and Cheese!) actually WRITE RIFFS!! They don't sit there chilling on the E string trying to jack it off as fast as they can and then palm it off as being evil and atmospheric. There's actually thought given to the process which in turn produces a variable landscape of ups and downs... nooks and crannies, so on and so fourth. One thing I always hated about black metal as well as this blackened death bullshit is that people insist that mediocrity somehow translates to atmospheric. It does not. Playing like this just means that you suck and lack creativity. Plain and fucking simple. This is the kind of shit a 12 year old whips together and records on his cell-phone after an all-nighter consisting of large doses of adderall and jacking off to Transylvanian Hunger, you know, for inspiration.

To sum it up... I'll never forget a good friend of mine who was a 'zine editor and college radio station DJ back where I'm from telling me (half jokingly) that I should start a black metal band. His reasoning? "you don't even have to know how to play!"

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