Maniac (2012)

Although I am neither a fan of remakes nor the “new wave of French horror” that’s been popular the past 10-15 years, Maniac ends up being an exception to both categories. This Alexandre Aja penned remake of 1980 classic is a fairly faithful retelling of the original. Elijah Wood is no Joe Spinell, but with his portrayal as a seriously deranged fuck with boyish and charming good looks, Woods actually fits the character better than Spinell’s loafing, schlumpiness IMO (and I can hear the ire of a thousand purists). The chick who plays Anna is an actually somewhat likeable and interesting character, as opposed to 95% of female roles these days.

Except for 2 or 3 scenes, the movie is told from Frank’s (Wood’s) point of view so we only really see him when he’s reflected from a window or mirror. The gore and blood are there, as is to be expected from Aja’s work. The scalpings are fine, nothing groundbreaking or novel. There is a nice little Achilles heel slicing which I am a fan of, and there are a few scenes where Woods is washing his hands with a steel Brillo pad looking thing which were definitely squirm-worthy.

If you’re a purist and devout fan of the original, you will probably hate this. But if not, it’s definitely a movie worth watching and one of the better horror movies to come out in recent years.

Napalm Death - Harmony Corruption (1990)

Easily my favorite ND album. After 'From Enslavement...' I was relieved that they changed things up a bit. I couldn't imagine yet another album in that style. Sure, it was cool for what it was as was 'Scum', but the novelty was wearing thin and if they were going to stick around for a while they were in dire need of some serious changes.

I for one am not one of the gay "punk" douche-bags that cried all the way home about the changes made within the ND faction. For one, I've always been a metalhead, first and foremost. I never liked punk. Period. The music sucked. The douche-bags that populated that scene sucked, The lame "punk attitude" thing was gay and so on and so fourth. When ND went all out death metal, I thought "fuck yeah!", now this is more like it! Don't get me wrong, I was all about their early grindcore stuff and I'll never forget the day I went to the record store, purchased my "pink" (yep) copy of 'Scum' on cassette, brought it home and was completely bludgeoned by it. It was cool then and on occasion I'll pop it in (more for nostalgic purposes than anything else) for the hell of it, but I just couldn't see Napalm belting out a continuous succession of Scum's and From Enslavement's. One more album done in that fashion would have been overkill. The transition to full blown death metal began with 'Mentally Murdered' and was complete with 'Harmony Corruption'.

I was not expecting the vengeful, hateful blast beat/Barney roar combo that would coming crashing through the gates, unexpectedly amidst the static laden intro. I was momentarily dazed. Once the dust quickly settled I noticed the bizarre tremolo riffing of team Pintado/Harris doing its thing and I knew right away that everything was gonna be alright. To date, this is ND's finest hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know there's a million naysayers out there that wanna tell you that ND died after Steer and Dorrian flew the coop, well, fuck 'em. Their opinions don't mean shit to me. There's also a newfound and rabid interest in the band due to their supposed "return to form" starting with 2000's 'Enemy of the Music Business'. Apparently I'm in the minority on this one as I can't shake the feeling that a very large and important ingredient is missing. The band's early 90's mojo is obviously a thing of the past and I'm not terribly enthusiastic about the 900 albums they've released in the last 10 or so years. Again, for me, Harmony is the pinnacle moment of the band with a couple of worthy follow-ups since but nothing quite on its level.

Barney's vocals are unbelievably hateful and monstrous sounding, "New guys" Jesse Pintado and Mitch Harris really added a new dimension to the band yet kept everything sounding just as intense as the band's previous albums. The songs are more tempered. Not in the sense that they've lost their edge, but there is more of a notion of "craftsmanship" this time around and Mick Harris' drumming is on point throughout the duration, mixing it up between blasts and beats and I'm sorry to all the "trigger haters" out there, but Scott Burns did a fucking fantastic job on this album.

Death - Human (1991)

With Death, you have on one side of the spectrum all of the "old school death metal" faggots that claim allegiance to the first two albums and those two only (with a few, apparently "forgiving" denizens adding in 'Spiritual Healing' to the equation) and then you have the artsy/techno-nerd types who are rendered  "breathless" by everything the band has done from 'Human' on out (though for some reason all factions tend to agree that The Sound of Perseverance gargles laminated donkey testicles).

Personally, I think they're all wrong. Spiritual Healing, without a doubt, belongs with the first two albums as part of Death's classic and initial phase. The Sound of Perseverance is not as bad as everyone makes it out, especially after the ultra-bland flavorless gruel that is 'Symbolic', and Human is in all likelihood the band's pinnacle moment with Individual Thought Patterns a strong runner-up.

I always thought that 'Human' was a substantial "fuck you" to the mongoloids in Massacre. I mean, talk about regression, it was clearly evident who the weakest links were once the homey's in Death got the collective boot and re-formed Massacre. The songwriting "skills" sank considerably and Rozz's whammy wanking ways were left unchecked while flying guitar strings were the bane of many an eyeball across the nation. If something boring and lame is considered "pedestrian" than the guys in Massacre were a pack of cripples trying to cross the street in wheelchairs. The muscianship between the two bands is incomparable. Once the Massacre dolts got dropkicked from the ranks, Schuldiner's creative juices truly began to flow.

The cool thing about 'Human', to me, was that, more than being just a technical upgrade, the songs remained catchy and even more so than any of the band's previous outings. Their was a finesse here that the band acquired and everything sounded, dare I say, smooth, which is surprisingly a good thing. Hey, I don't mind a job well done in the studio. I'm not one of these "necro" fucks who whines all day about shit not sounding raw enough. Whatever. Up until this point, 'Human' was the best sounding Death album and probably the best in their career. Do I like it the best? Nah. I have a soft spot for 'Spiritual Healing', though 'Human' comes in right behind it.

Thankfully, the fags in Cynic are only here as hired hands, otherwise 'Human' would have been an altogether different "experience".

Movie Poster of the Week: Death Line -aka- Raw Meat (1973)

Maveth - Coils of the Black Earth (2013)

More "blah" being touted as the "next great thing". Fuck that. This shit is boring, capital L-A-M-E. I read somewhere how great the vocalist is and how much he sounds like a "monster". You gotta be fucking kidding me. Trust me. There is absolutely NOTHING spectacular about this guy. I won't say that he outright sucks. I mean, he's decent enough, but after all the praise and rim jobs, I was half expecting my cabeza to detonate from the sheer awesomeness of this guy's delivery. Not quite. Just another average schmoe grappling the mic and adding absolutely nothing more than a minor distraction from the rather pedestrian riff department. Trust me folks, this is nothing to drop your laundry over. Sure, it doesn't outright blow, but given the amount of trembling hype that it's received, this album has come up noticeably short. Just another run o' the mill death metal band that everyone has a hard on over because they happen to be from Finland. Next.

The Way's Top 5 Most Blasphemous & Evil Sounding Death Metal Albums of All Time

To me, for a band to sound truly "evil", there has to be that special something about it. It has to have a certain quality. I know many folks out there think that by having Satanic lyrics in their songs the musician is automatically "evil" sounding. Ha! Nothing could be further from the truth. I've heard many bands throughout the years with Satanic lyrics, who made The Chipmunks sound voraciously blasphemous in comparison. A great wealth of black metal bands quickly comes to mind. No. Truly evil sounding death metal bands have to have a certain vibe about them. A Particularly "gloomy" aura. It's not just about "evil" lyrics. There has to be a mastery over nuance and subtlety. For example, there's something about a band that employs the use of string bends and trills that somehow gives me the impression that they're privy to some unspeakable horror that can only be found within the darkest landscape of the mind. Obviously the use of tremolo style picking is also of great importance. Personally, I've always considered the contrast of low end gloom and pinch harmonics to be an added bonus when applied. Here are the following five death metal albums that, for me, fall perfectly into that category.


5) Morbid Angel - Covenant (1993)

I know a lot of people cite 'Altars of Madness' as the "be all end all" Morbid Angel album, but for me the band truly reached the pinnacle of their abilities with 1993's Covenant. Though the band has always had a firm grasp on creating evil sounds, I felt that they really knocked it out of the park with this album. The sound was a bit more murky and cavernous what with their newfound low end and there was a larger emphasis on slower, gloomier sounding riffs. Make no mistake though, the whirlwind rhythmic onslaught that made them such a force to be reckoned with in the first place was still present in songs such as 'Rapture' and 'Blood on My Hands', yet it was the doomier tracks like 'God of Emptiness' and 'World of Shit' that had me entranced and obsessed.



4) Disciples of Mockery - Prelude to Apocalypse (1999)

Featuring 3/4's of Incantation's 'Onward to Golgotha' line-up, DOM's blasphemous debut features everything from grinding death metal to slow and decrepit doom to even a more "blackened" sounding tremolo assault. The vocals of Craig Pillard are a bit different here than anything he's done with Incantation or Disma, for that matter, yet they sound just as menacing and evil. It's too bad that DOM didn't remain active as they would have easily given Incantation a run for their money as evidenced on 'Prelude to Apocalypse'. Hell, I prefer this album to anything Incantation has released since Craig's departure, so there!




3) Coffin Texts - Gods of Creation, Death & Afterlife (2000)

This album really blew me away upon its release way back in 2000. From the band name to the album cover and song titles, I guess I was expecting some bootleg Nile rip-off. By the time the first song finished I knew that this was going to be one of my all time favorite albums.

Coffin Texts sound like a cross between early Incantation and early Bolt Thrower with a healthy dash of Immolation thrown into the mix. The vocals are a bit "witchier" sounding than the aforementioned bands, which brings to mind the German old guard of bands such as Kreator and Sodom.



2) Incantation - Mortal Throne of Nazarene (1994)

Choosing between 'Onward to Golgotha' and this, is no easy decision to make by any stretch, but ultimately I have to give 'Mortal Throne' the edge as it takes everything from the first album and improves upon it. The band sounds that much more mature and enlightened this time around, yet without sacrificing any of the gloomy aesthetics found on their debut.







1) Immolation - Dawn of Possession (1991)

And here it is...

By far the most haunting and sinister sounding death metal album ever! There is something rhythmically serpentine about this album, from beginning to end. The mastery over feeling and atmosphere is rather uncanny when you consider that this was the band's first "professional" outing as well as the fact that they really haven't sounded this sinister since. Everything about this album is top shelf, from the absolutely brilliant production, courtesy of Harris Johns, to the masterful use of tremolo picking, harmonics, string bends and other assorted spells. This is the pinnacle achievement of the band, and although I wouldn't say that it's been downhill since, they certainly haven't been able to get any higher than this.

The GG Allin Manifesto

If you believe in the real underground of Rock 'N' Roll, then now is the time to do something about it. The time is now to overthrow the current situations and declare war on the record companies, radio stations, publications, clubs, and anyone who promotes the whole so called "scene" as it now stands. We need to destroy it all and take it back from the corporate phonies and conformist. But action must be taken now and blood must be spilled.

First let me tell you who I am. I was born Jesus Christ Allin in 1956 in Lancaster, NH. The Jesus Christ they preach about in the Bible is a phony imposter - just a crutch for the cripples to lean on. Fuck that weak shit! I am the man to deal with. I created myself inside the womb from the fires of Hell. There are no separations between Jesus Christ, God and the Devil, because I am all of theme. I am here to take Rock 'N' Roll back & prove to the world that I am the real king through the powers I have acquired.

When I was born in 1956, Rock 'N' Roll first started taking off. Why do you think that was? Because I created it. I created Elvis. I made it all happen. Even before I was born I was plotting. But through the years everyone has let it all go. That's why I am ready to take it all back. Nobody has held on. Nobody has had the indurence to finish what they were set out to fucking do. They all let me down or I took their lives for a purpose. I was the one who was throwing all the monkey wrenches into the gears. But money and commercialism made them all sell out. Even Iggy let me down. The Sex Pistols let me down. Sid let me down when he fell in love (that's why they are all dead). And now we have the Ramones praising bands like Guns N' Roses, which runs against everything they were set out to destroy.

But now it's 1991. This is the decade for the final bloody mutilation. Time to get Rock 'N' Roll out of the hands of the masses and back to the people who will not accept comfort or conformity at any cost. Then I will commit suicide on stage and the blood of Rock 'N' Roll will become the poison of the Universe forever. Take a look around and see what's happening. Spineless record companies kissing the mainstreams ass, being pressured by the money media and politicians. So called cutting edge radio stations as fucking lame as the stations they oppose. Censorship publications kisssing the monkey suits asses, who in turn, are kissing someone else's ass. Even so called "underground" publications have no fucking desire to get blood on their hands. They are too busy crying about how we can make the world a more wonderful place and how politically correct they can be. Talk is fucking cheap.

It's time to fight. It's time for revenge. We need to overthrow Rock 'N' Roll as it now stands. We must bring down record companies by not buying their products. A boycot. If you have to have a record, steal it. That way they wont get your money. We've got to stop feeding them. Your support must now go to me - GG Allin, the commanding leader and terrorist of Rock 'N' Roll. Why do you think I am in prison right now? Because they know who I am and they fear my reality. Our society wants to stop my mission. They want to brain wash you and keep you locked into MTV, and their stagnating, safe worlds. It's a plot to kill Rock 'N' Roll. I am the savior. Thats why I am considered a threat to society.

This is what you should do:

Go to your record store and buy all the GG ALLIN recordings you can find. If they dont have any in stock, tell them to order some. If they refuse, then do what you have to do. Call radio stations and demand GG Allin. Spray paint "GG ALLIN" everywhere. Make them aware that the disease and the Scumfuc tradition is still spreading. Write "GG ALLIN" on all your dollar bills. Any bills you have. People do not throw money away, so it would be a free way to get the message out. You must do it every day of your life. We must live for the Rock 'N' Roll underground. It CAN be dark and dangerous again. It CAN be threatning to our society as it was meant to be. IT MUST BE UNCOMPROMISING. And with me as your leader, it will happen. I am ready to lead you, my allies, into the real Rock 'N' Roll underground. Let's get started.