Terrorizer - Hordes of Zombies (2012)

Boy, any Terrorizer album to be released post-World Downfall is sure to draw the collective ire of every pseudo-intellectual fanboy, as asses are set abaze and butt burned nerds the world over seek to avenge their offended nervous systems by typing in scathing reviews and pointing out that which is true and which is not (even though over half of these geeks knew nothing of the band's existence until accidentally stumbling upon them via Youtube 6 or so months back) in an apparently necessary proclamation of their vast knowledge of things. Go fucking die already.

The big and most glaringly obvious no-no that this album commits is that it is the first of the band's releases not to feature founding member Jesse Pintado on guitar. I look at it like this, it does take balls indeed to pull off such a maneuver and hats off to 'em for keeping the ball rolling. Being that Terrorizer's approach to death/grind has always been rather straightforward, how could they possibly drop the ball and fuck this up, regardless of who is now writing the riffs? The bottom line is they haven't. I guess the biggest difference from this album and the last is that the chick (?) who replaced Jesse stylistically leans more towards tremolo picked riff acrobatics whereas Jesse was slightly more well rounded. Nonetheless, the intensity level is virtually identical to previous Terrorizer outings and if anything, this is probably the fastest album released by the band yet. I can only assume that complaints towards this album or the last are merely the ass-wrought tear drops gushed fourth by a generation of arrogant faggots who obsess over what is "true" in some juvenile quest to come across as knowledgeable and ultimately cool as a result. I'm fairly convinced that metal and the internet is not a good combination as the horde of ultra-hip faggot retards that have begun swarming the circuit in droves is enough to make me consider going on a napalm drenched killing spree in an attempt to wax each and every one of these motherfuckers off the planet. Hordes of Zombies, indeed.

Terrorizer - Darker Days Ahead (2006)

Yet another album undeservedly slagged by the legion of internet-age homos who attempt to pass themselves off as connoisseurs of elite musical taste. Barf. How's that taste, ya fucks?

90% of this album fucking crushes fags skulls into a pulpy, A.I.D.S. tainted and syrupy-like mess. Goopy, even. When I listen to this album, I feel like I'm in the middle of some post-apocalyptic, Mad Max movie, where armies of assless chap clad barbarians rocking mohawks and hockey masks are bashing in each other's skulls and running preppie faggot blog owners over with all manners of nigger rigged Pintos and Hoopty Lamborghinis. Yes, this is what I envision folks, as I cannot, for the life of me, understand why so many butthurt denizens have cried foul upon this album's release. Mind you, this album isn't brutal in the wigger/So-Cal sense, this is a post-nuclear smorgasbord served up L.A. beaner style. Being that Jesse Pintado was the main riff-writer on this album, a vast majority of it has a weird, sort of "evil" vibe to it, similar to much of the early "second wave" Napalm albums that he was part of.

Yes, there is a track or two that kind of just came and went, but oh well. No biggie whatsoever. Allow me to let you in on a little secret: I was never a fanatic for 'World Downfall'. Yeah, yeah, sure, I identify it as being a milestone in grind, yada, yada, but there were too many thrashy/hardcore-isms flying around for my taste. I was never into punk and the whole pretentious "attitude" thing (not to mention the lame, shitty musicianship) and a goodly sum of the songs on 'World Downfall' were just downright boring to me. 'Darker Days Ahead' is way more on my level of interest. Stylistically, this album isn't far removed from 'Eternal/In Cold Blood' era Malevolent Creation with its deadpan brutality and straightforward assault. Apparently Pintado had had enough of Napalm's experimentation as this album is by far moreto the point than anything ND has released since '92's 'Utopia Banished'.

Vocalist Anthony Rezhawk is more to my liking than Oscar Garcia ever was, so there are no complaints in that department. I'm sure many whiny faggot bitches got their panties twisted over Pete Sandoval's over-processed drum sound on this album, but oh well. For me, it lends to the album an almost industrial feel that only adds to the whole post-apocalyptic vibe, not to mention the fact that: when are people going to realize that triggers do not help you play. It is merely a matter of sound quality. using triggers does not magically make someone faster. Sure, there are plenty of albums where the drums do indeed sound like shit as a result of that particular effect. There are also many albums where it just happens to work. Get the fuck over it already. Besides, I think Sandoval's at the point in his career where he can pretty much do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm sure he's not losing any sleep because some butt hurt little nerd who discovered Terrorizer on Youtube yesterday read a comment about his use of triggers and decided to pass along the disdain as being  part of the whole "underground/true/kvlt" movement dictates. What a bunch of fucking chumps.

This album slays and fuck you.