Therion - Symphony Masses: Ho Drakon Ho Megas (1993)

I'll never forget hearing this album for the first time. I was on my way back from Phoenix Records in Waturbury, CT (R.I.P.) and I had just picked this up along with Mortician's 'Mortal Massacre' and Cannibal Corpse's 'The Bleeding' which had just come out. It took me about one whole minute to realize that something was terribly wrong. The Therion I had known and loved had officially undergone a sex-change operation and busted out of the closet clad in pink boas and wielding purple dildos. I was mortified.

The greatest offense committed here by FAR are the vocals. Prior to this release Cristofer Johnsson was easily one of my favorite growlers. His Celtic Frost inspired "ooh's" are perhaps even greater and more powerful than the master himself, Tom Warrior. Seriously! On this album, however, I don't know WHAT the fuck happened. Apparently the bottom gave out because these are just fucking weak, and it's not like my Man was all of a sudden channeling Thom Yorke or something, I mean these are still death metal vocals but they sound like they were delivered by someone who dropped by the studio after a full week of being throatfucked by nigger savages. I was shocked.

Musically, this sounds like the next logical step downward from the band's last album 'Beyond Sanctorum'. I wouldn't say that it's a straight up nosedive but it certainly aint no improvement either. Crissy'fur and company had basically strapped on their tights and were venturing further into that chasm otherwise known as the butthole of metal -aka- symphonic metal. The catch being that they weren't terribly good at it during this time so anything that may otherwise have been salvageable just sounds downright awkward or bland. This trait would reach a fever pitch on the band's next two albums (Lepaca Klifoth and Theli) before they reached the black belt level of symphonic faggery.

One thing I cannot take away from this album is the stellar artwork from iconic go-to Swede, Kristian (Necrolord) Whalin.

Jokes aside, I actually do not mind this album all that much. Therion was such a huge favorite of mine early in their career that, for many years, I did my best to brush aside any notion that I may have had that they had utterly "lost it". Even though their next album would see them spiralling further on down the rabbit-hole, I do consider that to be their very last "decent" release.

Therion - Beyond Sanctorum (1992)

This is one of those albums that sounded SO much better when I first heard it over twenty years ago. Now mind you, I don't think that it sucks by any means and back when Therion were a bona-fide death metal band they were easily one of my favorites but looking back I can pin-point with a fair amount of accuracy all of the signs that reveal a band that was waiting to come crashing, full bore, out of the closet.

It's weird because even though this is their sophomore album there are plenty of moments that feel as though this would have came out first. Moments that feel are somewhat regressed. Also, many of the symphonic elements (that were just beginning to barely emerge here) just sound downright inept. Laughably so. I mean, you'd have thought that Cristofer Johnsson had employed the talents of some brain-damaged amputee who had in their possession a Casiotone 501 with a remedial understanding of the instrument to boot.

On the positive side, this is the last album to feature Johnsson at his bestial best in terms of vocal delivery. Sure, the next few albums feature what one may consider to be death metal vocals but they are horrendously regressed and inept sounding. Like a tired muppet after a solid week of homosexual gang-rape.

For the most part the riffs here are akin to those found on 'Of Darkness', though hardly anything here possesses the catchiness and memorability of that album. Suffice to say, even though there;s nothing rampantly technical about this album, there is no shortage of directionless meandering.

Again, by no means do I think this album sucks or anything even close to that, but hearing this album many years after the fact, flaws can be easily traced and it is without a doubt the very last "straight up" death metal album the band would write and release.

The Way's Top Worst Follow-Up Releases

I know that some folks will probably think I'm out of my mind with some of these selections but they have their reasons for being here. Some of these might not have been straight up "sex change operations" but nonetheless, they were a departure from what I was expecting and/or hoping for. Certain and obvious choices such as Morbid Angel's 'Illud Divinum...' ultimately did not make the cut because Morbid has had such a long and good run up until that point and frankly, I'm not that offended by that album. Most, if not all of these albums, etc, were released when I was much younger and a bit more , shall I use the term "emotionally attached". Now that I'm an old fuck I take it way less personal if a band decides to jump out of the closet and ride the Hershey Highway.

Pestilence - Testimony of the Ancients

After the crushing and dismal onslaught of the imagination that was the mighty 'Consuming Impulse' I was not prepared for the artsy fartsy, post-neutered diet rite version of the band that was about to come prancing from out of my speakers. Oddly enough, the element that I was most concerned with (the absence of Martin Van Drunen) ended up being a non-issue as guitarist Patrick Mameli ably handled the mic. Sure, he sounded like a rather generic version of MVD but at least the aggression remained.

There are moments on this album that I swear were written by the two fags from Air Supply and basically that's what 'Testimony...' sounds like, a collaboration between Pestilence and that band. After waiting almost three years for this album to be released, I cannot begin to describe what a letdown it was to finally hear it.

Darkthrone - A Blaze in the Northern Sky

After the mindblowing 'Soulside Journey', nothing, absolutely fucking nothing could prepare me for the utterly homosexual bandwagon hopping of this album. To this day it kills me that everyone bows at the feet of this band, heaping massive amounts of praise upon them for being so original and for "sticking to their guns" (???)... really??? Are you fucking kidding me? Darkthrone is the biggest example of the term "trendy hipster" there is. It's difficult for people to comprehend why, exactly? Because the two geeks in this band act like they don't care? Yeah right. Trust me. If they didn't care they wouldn't write, record and release albums. Period.

Cathedral - Soul Sacrifice

I should've known that the weakest track on the band's debut would be the one whose style of which Cathedral would capitalize on throughout the rest of their existence. What a shame. To this day, no one has been able to come close to the brilliance of Cathedral's 'Forest of Equilibrium', certainly not the band itself. I cannot say for sure that it was a complete shock to hear the more upbeat tempos found on this 'ep', but it was a major letdown nonetheless 

Carcass - Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious

Sure, this is still quite an aggressive album but it wasn't really what I wanted to hear after 'Symphonies of Sickness'. I had waited some time to once again delve into Carcass' dismal void of crushing gloom and was rather thrown off to be greeted by the thrashier aesthetics of 'Necroticism'. Don't get me wrong, I actually like the album but I have always grappled with the sinking feeling that the primal sludge of their earlier incarnation was to forever be a thing of the past as the band began to incorporate elements of thrash and traditional heavy metal, not to mention the increasing absence of Bill Steer's vocal croak which would be non-existent on Carcass' next album, 'Heartwork'. Great album, but a bittersweet reminder of the everflowing winds of change.

Suffocation - Breeding the Spawn

With their debut, 'Effigy of the Forgotten', Suffocation beat the living shit out of everyone around them, bands and fanatics alike. Effortlessly pushing Cannibal Corpse to the side, Suffocation became the new barbarians of U.S. brutality on the block. This band had great things in store. I knew it... until....

I'm not quite sure what the fuck Roadrunner was thinking when they sent the band off to some hole in the wall studio to record their heavily anticipated follow-up to 'Effigy...', but boy did they fuck that up. Regardless of whether or not the actual "playing" is up to par, the album sounds like complete and total shit. You can pretend to yourself otherwise until the second coming of Christ, but the fact remains: this album sounds like garbage. I can only imagine what it would've sounded like had Scott Burns worked his magic once again.

The other problem I had with it was that the songs just really aren't that good. Sure, there never seems to be a shortage of praise from musicians and techno-nerds alike, but to mine ears (seemingly) alone, none of these songs really stand out, ultimately making the album sound like a big stew of meandering garbage and noise made worse by the atrocious production. What a fucking shame.

Obituary - The End Complete

The End Complete marks the beginning of Obituary's longstanding affair with releasing absolutely boring and unimaginative albums. It's as if they stopped giving a shit after 'Cause of Death'. Like that album was so overwhelmingly taxing to create it pretty much sucked out the remainder of the band's creative output. I don't know. I'm just speculating. 

I've learned since then that each time the band is about to release an album and utter the words "oh, this is going to be a typical Obituary album", they're referring to each and every worthless piece of shit they've released since 'Cause of Death'. 

Therion - Symphony Masses: Ho Drakon Ho Megas

Where 'Beyond Sanctorum' had mere "glimpses" of symphonic faggotry sprinkled throughout, 'Symphony Masses' was a full bore crashing through the gates (otherwise known as the closet door).

Perhaps the biggest letdown for me were the vocals of Christofer Johnsson. On the band's previous albums he was a fucking beast, quite deserving of the band's moniker. Here he sounds like some wayward and haggard wino surviving on a diet of Kamchatka and withered dog turds. Somebody get this guy a bowl of soup!

Bolt Thrower - ...for Victory

After 4 albums of total and complete godliness, I should have known that the mighty locomotive known as Bolt Thrower would eventually run out of steam. This album isn't a departure from the band's "tried and true" formula or anything of the sort. It just sounds like a band tired and completely out of good ideas. To be fair, there are a handful of decent riffs here and there, but as a whole the album just sounds tired and weak. Even though I felt that the band's follow-up, 'Mercenary' was a glimmer of hope, the band have never truly recovered and have been on a long path of mediocrity since.

The Way's Top Ten Greatest Albums of All Time

1) Cathedral - Forest of Equilibrium (1991)

What can I say? This is by far my favorite album of all time. More of a "funeral" doom album than anything and without a doubt the heaviest release by the band, 'Forest of Equilibrium' introduced to me my love of slides and string bends. The music on this album encompasses everything from colossal heaviness to autumnal beauty. I was lucky enough to have purchased this when it was released domestically here in the U.S. over twenty years ago at age 16 and it hasn't lost an ounce of its magic since. Unfortunately I cannot say the same  for the band themselves but nonetheless, 'Forest of Equilibrium' will be the album I take to my grave.

2) Celtic Frost - Morbid Tales/Emperor's Return (1984/85)

Back when I was but a wee lad, way before "doom" became a legitimate genre and way before that genre gave way to a various number of "sub"-genres including "stoner doom" and "funeral doom", this was about as slow and heavy as it got, not to mention that the vocals of Tom Warrior were pretty much the most brutal and barbaric thing I had heard yet. Almost 30 years later and this hasn't gotten old yet. Technically, this isn't an album, but a re-release of the band's first two ep's. Nevertheless, my first copy of this was on cassette with both ep's bearing the cover you see to the right.

3) Pestilence - Consuming Impulse (1989)

Not only does this boast one of the greatest vocal performances by a death metal band, but there's not a blast in sight. For my money, 'Consuming Impulse' has probably the greatest sounding down picking of any metal album, death metal or other, not to mention the absolutely stellar production by Harris Johns. To this day, no one has been able to make good on the promise of this album, not even the band themselves.

4) Bolt Thrower - Realm of Chaos - Slaves to Darkness (1989)

Without a doubt, the absolute HEAVIEST fucking album ever!! Had Basil Poledouris been unavailable to compose the score for the original Conan the Barbarian soundtrack, Bolt Thrower would have been the ideal replacement pick. Ungodly.

5) Immolation - Dawn of Possession (1991)

In all likelihood, this is the most hauntingly evil death metal album ever. Rich with gloomy atmosphere and never boring, 'Dawn of Possession' is a landmark in northeastern U.S. death metal.

6) Incantation - Onward to Golgotha (1992)

Along with 'Dawn of Possession', 'Onward to Golgatha' is a testament to that faction of northeastern U.S. death metal that chose not to inseminate each song with breakdown riffs. This album is about as oppressive as it gets. This is easily the soundtrack to a journey through some infernal Greek underworld complete with colossal doom riffs and cavernous atmospherics, this is about as evil as it gets. Legend.

7)  Sabbat - Dreamweaver: Reflections of our Yesterdays (1989)

Sick vocals, stellar lyrics and concept overall and just plain awesome death/thrash.

8)  Entombed - Left Hand Path (1990)

The album album that opened up the floodgates and ushered fourth the first wave of Swedish death metal. I can honestly say, without a doubt, that not one of them came close to capturing the cavernous brilliance of this album. The band would release one more solid death metal album before abandoning much of the gloomy atmospherics in favor of a more classic rock oriented approach. Fine by me, but 'Left hand Path' remains the one absolutely essential album within their entire catalog.

9) Carcass - Symphonies of Sickness (1989)

Another band that's been to aped to death yet no one has managed to come close to the eerie brilliance of this album. Smoking a joint, opening up the lyric sheet and reading along with each song is sure to blow your mind. While there was indeed a handful of early death and grind bands that were obsessed with gore and horror films, Carcass to it to the extreme by throwing in tons of wordplay and black humor not to mention impossibly technical medical terminology to boot. The pioneering dual vocals of Jeff Walker and Bill Steer are still the best of that style and the Steer's morbid riffing is among the creepiest you'll ever hear in death metal.

10) Therion - Of Darkness (1991)

Despite some of the thrashier sections on this album, 1991's 'Of Darkness' is one of the most "evil" sounding records to crawl fourth from out of the northern wastes of Scandinavia. Cristofer Johnsson's vocals on this record are my absolute favorite by any death metal vocalist before or since and the undeniable Celtic Frost vibe that coats the album is the cherry on top. Therion would release one more album in this vein and then it was all symphony-city from there on out. Not bad in it's own right but my preference lies with the band's older material. Cavernous gloom never sounded so good!



Honorable mentions:

Carnage - Dark Recollections
Accidental Suicide - Deceased
Obituary - Cause of Death
Darkthrone - Soulside Journey