Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Excision (2012)

Sometimes when I read horror movie reviews, I seriously have to wonder whether these people have ever watched any horror movies prior to the one they’re reporting on. Other times I wonder if people just can't help themselves and reach for their inner pretentious bastard in the hopes of describing a far better movie than the one they just saw.

This all brings us to everyone’s latest  “It's so sick, you have to see it!” fare, Excision. Excision stars AnnaLynne McCord as the disturbed teenager Pauline, Traci Lords as her mother, and a slew of other familiar faces. Pauline wants to be a surgeon and also wants to lose her virginity, her mother is an uptight shrew and she has a younger sister battling cystic fibrosis.

This movie has a lot of potential but manages to both fall short and be over-the-top in the hopes of being “meaningful”. One phrase I keep seeing in a lot of reviews is “thought-provoking”. What fucking thought did this provoke? That Pauline comes off less a disturbing kid and more an annoying, rude cunt? That Traci Lords needs to admit she can’t act and that her performance felt crazy forced? That all the artsy dream sequences and over the top blood and gore didn’t really do much except add nice colors to the screen? (When all else fails, go for an aborted fetus, right? Director, others have done it and done it much better than you)

There are a few funny lines here and there and I always enjoy seeing Ray Wise, but it just wasn’t worth it. There’s no real plot, parts drag and the “big ending” was anything but.

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