Monday, September 10, 2012

Watain - Sworn to the Dark

Imagine you really need to take a shit. You go to the toilet, sit down, hem and haw and make stupid faces and grunt. All you want is for something to happen, but you're constipated. After an eternity, you get up, not just disappointed, but more annoyed because you really expected something to happen.

Congratulations, you've just experienced Watain. Watain has become the latest black metal band to be fawned and fangirled over, and made a much bigger deal than they ever deserve to be.

"Ooooh the singer sounds like every other mediocre vocalist! Ooooh they're drenched in pig's blood which makes the entire venue and audience smell like rotten shit!"

Everything about this band and their music screams "meh..." If you left your children in a scrapyard with two spoons, they would make a far better and more memorable album than this drudgery.

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