Celtic frost - Vanity/Nemesis (1990)

First off, I'd hardly call this album a "comeback", and one thing is certain, Vanity/Nemesis sports by fucking far what is the absolutely gayest album cover in the frosty one's career. That alone had me doubting all the praise of the band's alleged "return to form". The music may or may not have been an attempt to pull the sparkly dildo out of Tom "Fischer's" ass but they were obviously not willing to abandon the 'Jersey hair' sportin', 80's slam pig look which they had acquired around the release of 1988's 'Cold Lake'. So, were the rumors true? Had The Frost indeed found their way back "to mega therion"? Not quite.

First off, the vocals are firmly rooted in the whiny style that Sir Gay-briel began to tinker around with on 'Into the Pandemonium'. There are zero "ooh's" to be found here and you can forget about any sort of "gruff" vocals as well. Now, I actually don't mind the "romantic" sounding whiny fag vocals that Sir Gay-briel persists on using throughout this album. Being a totally gay fan boy for 'Into the Pandemonium', this approach I hardly find distracting. I've always found them to be oddly sinister and befitting of the music in which they embellish, which, of course, brings me to the riffs, and wherein lies the problem...

Don't get me wrong, I do not dislike this album at all. I certainly wouldn't label it a 'glam rock' album and it sure as fuck beats to a wretched pulp the album it succeeds, it's just that a healthy portion of this album is just plain boring. The songs that do stand out are just decent at best. There are a few "frosty" characteristics which bring to mind better days, but overall this sounds uninspired, as if the band knew that they had fucked up, yet were actually rather happy with being cockslapped in the back room over at the 'Blue Oyster' bar. The "attempt" at getting back on track is halfhearted at best.

If you can bring yourself to get past the outspokenly homosexual album cover, you'd be surprised to hear that this album isn't as gay as it looks, however, any hope that this is a return to the glory days of old should be put on ice and left at the door. I guess that you could say that this is the album that should have come out after 'Into the Pandemonium' as it basically capitalizes on the more blander aesthetics of that album without going all out gay such as the album before it.