Goddefied - Abysmal Grief [ep] (1993)

First and foremost, let me get this straight... I've never been one to piss and moan about whether or not a band sounds "original". What's always been of the utmost importance to me is whether they sound good or not. I'm not so naive to believe that with 90,000,000 fucking metal bands out there, it's an impossibility to select a riff or rhythmic pattern that may have been previously used in the 30+ years of metal's existence. However, I do not advocate any band who straight up plagiarizes another band's material as a result of their own creative bankruptcy. Such is the case with Sweden's Goddefied.

I remember when Entombed's 'Left Hand Path' was released in 1990 and the effect it had on the rest of Sweden. On one hand I was delighted that they had influenced so many of their countrymen with their infamous "chainsaw" guitar sound, on the other I was astonished that there were hardly any among them that possessed a semblance of shame and self awareness in regards to the fact that just about all of them were doing nothing more than aping Entombed's sound. Some, like Dismember and Grave, would go on to build lengthy careers out of this while many, many others would not make it past the demo stage.

I must confess that during that time I eagerly devoured any and every two-bit Entombed knock-off that stumbled my way. Let's face it, most of 'em were good and really, the only thing those bands were ripping was the guitar sound itself. Riff-wise, Dismember, Grave and Entombed (among others) were fairly distanced, so it wasn't overly obnoxious at the time. Goddefied, however, not only straight rip-off Entombed because they suck and are a bunch of creatively bankrupt faggots, but they actually somehow manage to make the riffs they stole sound bloodless and weak. Like a pack of homosexual vampires who haven't sucked a dick in over a decade. Weak... staggering... powerless. Fuck this band, and fuck al of the queerbait Facebook hipsters who praise garbage like this like it's some hidden gem. More like finding a shit encrusted dildo in your uncle's dresser.

The one thing they got right was the title of this piece of miserable shit.

Oh yeah, nice cover art that's been used about 9,000,000 fucking times, too, you fuckin' Swedish meatball garglin' faggots. Goddefied. What a fuckin' gay name. More like Gay-defied.