Saturday, December 8, 2012

Phantasm II (1988)

Originally, I had no intention of reviewing the second installment of the Phantasm series as I had already typed in a scathing rant of 'Lord of the Dead' and mentioned in it that the first two films of the series were the ones to check out, but, as I was considering purchasing a copy of 'part 2' on DVD (my VHS copy having been long since warped out) I had decided to read some reviews to see what sort of extras were included, if any. To my dismay, I read (more than once mind you) reviews panning 'part 2' in favor of 3 and 4! Am I on the right fucking planet here folks?! One guy actually wrote of Phantasm III, "it's not that great but it's still nowhere near the catastrophic mess that is part II". What sort of pseudo-hipster lobotomites have taken over Planet Earth? TRUST ME, Phantasm II is as good if not BETTER than the original!!! Do NOT listen to or buy into these wingnut, dingbat motherfuckers and their lack of good taste unless you prefer the taste of a cock recently shoved up another mans arse!

Perhaps I jumped the gun in stating 2 beats out the original but it's pretty fuckin' good! By no means a "catastrophic mess" like these transvestite knobslobbers would have you believe.

Director Coscarelli obviously drew inspiration from other films of the era such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, Evil Dead II and a few others. The special effects in part two are jacked up a couple notches as well as the inclusion of a few new metallic scrotums to chase you around the Tall Man's domain. The effects in particular are a fucking riot to behold and that alone places this movie on the same shelf as Evil Dead 2, From Beyond and many of the other monster and gore laden romp fests that kicked ass throughout the 80's and occasionally reared their ugly heads during the relatively dry 90's.

I don't give a fuck what they tell ya, there isn't anything remotely lame about this flick. Yea, I'm sure there are a few things that the truly anal douche bag twats'll pick up on and cry big drippy tears over, but not I. Sure, I can spot a continuity error with the best of 'em, but is it enough to get my ass in an uproar over? Not quite. I enjoy the fuckin' movie. I'm not witnessing the film adaptation of the god damned bible, which, if you wanna talk about continuity errors and inconsistencies of cosmic proportions, Holy open lesions Buttman!

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