Thursday, May 9, 2013

Ulcerate - The Destroyers of All (2011)

This is the sort of pretentious "post" bullshit group of bald headed faggots that make people who normally look down on death metal feel safe and important to masturbate to. When did this "post" shit start? "Post" punk. Post-doom. Post-black metal. Here, let me eat a big bowl of Post Raisin Bran so I can shit all over your Post-Pseudo-intellectual bearded and bald headed faggot self.

Death metal's become too safe lately. Too many 'Hello Kitty' types with their adorable little "selfie" photos clad in their "vintage" Autopsy shirts, taken to achieve maximum Facebook cool cred. PUKE! Even all of the loser, degenerate metalheads from the 80's who used to shoot up on picnic benches and sacrifice pigeons at the local graveyard in the name of Slayer are now a bunch of tofu eatin' dickless wonders, obsessed with their I-Phones. Ulcerate dictates and defines this homosexual era with an iron fist and a limp wrist. I hate this whole "forward thinking" nerd approach to death metal now. I don't want to see a picture of a bunch of metrosexual faggots who "happen" to play metal. I want to see a bunch of hairy, filthy mongoloids in the midst of chowing down on some hapless fuck who wandered too far into the wilds of West Virginia. Death metal is supposed to be frightening, primitive and barbaric. Bands like Ulcerate are making it safe for a bunch of pretentious faggot fucks who use words like "Noob" to listen to death metal. That's like a football team allowing some flame-broiled homo into the ranks because it's "safe" and 'PC' to do so now. Oh wait, they are actually doing that now! What the fuck??!!!

The other thing that is way off with this band is everyone's persistence on labeling them a "technical" death metal band. Believe me folks, there is nothing technical going on here outside of some bald hipster plugging in his guitar. Ulcerate: The Destroyers of All (who are not homosexual).

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