Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Obscura - Cosmogenesis
Obscura are the kind of band that would really rather be massaging one another with feathered dildos and giving each other champagne enemas as, clearly, they are not enjoying being a "death metal" band. To me, they are not a death metal band, but I'm not going to bother attempting to give a reality check to all of the clueless denizens that persist in labeling them as such. Ignorance is bliss... and apparently so are champagne enemas, and to that I shall remain blissfully ignorant.
Obscura represent that tidy little faction of metalheads who wear metranome pendants around their necks and worship the gayest metal bands unknown to Man merely for the sake of a stupid lead or two that makes a 3 second appearance on each track. The kind of people you want to absorb into a black out rage over and utterly dismantle with your fists. Somehow I believe, that even with every bone in their body smashed into to an oblivion of microscopic fragments, they would still be able to furiously finger fuck their guitars, which would undoubtedly be the end of me as I would go into a rage induced cardiac arrest.
I hate everything about this band. Bands like Obscura are the absolute of pretentiousness. Just go ahead and jump out of the closet already. The bands monstrous appetite for cock is transparent to say the least. Their feeble attempts to "inject" a little metal into an otherwise rampantly homosexual orgy defies the fact that they are trying to blend into society 'V' style. As if I would be fooled into believing that they are anything but a bunch of homosexual reptoids faking the funk by claiming to be a "death metal" band. Yeah... ok. I see right through you, you gay extraterrestrial fucks.